Wedding details.

All that ranting about the brown tuxedo and other stupid wedding inventions took me back to my planning stages. The nine months prior to our fall wedding were nuts. I was living in an alternate universe, and only now do I recognize how absurd the whole thing was. At the same time, I know that all of my obsessing paid off in the end. I was determined to have this wedding on *my* terms, and not on Martha's or David's or even Vera's. We had a church ceremony with an outdoor, tented reception in the hills of WV, and I was going for a natural, pretty, let's all get together and celebrate vibe. Here are some non-pro details shots taken by my brother and sister-in-law.

First, the altar arrangements. Simple cymbidium orchids with bear grass in vases bought at Ollie's for 6 bucks:

The modern stained-glass window at the chapel:

A beautiful friend playing the part of bridesmaid in a black velvet JCrew dress with bouquet:

And the official JCrew pic:

One thing I should say is that all of my bridesmaids are beautiful, skinny bitches (I hate them), so this dress looked fabulous on them. Probably wouldn't have been a great choice if the girls had all different body types.

My husband's brother, playing the part of groomsman. We purchased nice silk ties to gift the men with since the rental options were all hideous AND AREN'T EVEN REAL TIES. The boys wore classic black single-button jackets with notched lapels. His bout is a single freesia stem.

The porch of the house where the reception took place:

The cake, 'twas red velvet with buttercream icing and a little fondant lace detail and it was yummy and looked edible and somewhat homemade and I loved it for its un-Martha-ness.......with mom and dad's cake topper from 1972 and a homemade cake stand (crown molding and spray paint, that's all I'm saying):

The world's most perfect gardenia, a flower very special to my family, used floating in crystal bowls on the cake table, in the moms' and grandmas' corsages, in my bouquet, and in mini form as a bout for my hubs:

The long, linear tables. Be gone to banquet-hall hell, round! Also of note - the nice, bulbous wine glasses that we bought at Gabriel Brothers for...get this.....17 cents a piece. Of course, we still have 300 of them sitting in the basement now, but geez! The wine glasses the rental company had were so teeny-tiny, with the shortest stems I've ever seen. So finding these was a real coup.:

Me and the hubs about to cut the cake. My dress is a Nicole Miller, found at the NYC Filene's Basement Bridal Extravaganza sale for $250.00, originally $1800.00, still on the NM website. Oh, yes. And husband also wore a single-button jacket, but with a black silk tie:

And, for posterity, my red satin shoes:

Of course, there are a million and five details that I'm not showing here, like my homemade invites, save-the-dates, programs, menus, seating cards, honey favors, welcome bags, etc, etc, etc. But I'm still slow at this blogging thing and that already took me forever. And I can't use all of my original content at once, people.

Why I Love West Virginia.

Things is cheap. Real cheap.

This lovely mallard-green (I love 'mallard', both the color and the word), cable-knit pillow, $2.99, original price unknown but surely a lot more than three buckaroonies:

This colorful woven bolster pillow, $12.99, original price $125.00 at some fancy department store:

I'll admit, $12.99 was a bit steep for me, but I just couldn't resist. Because it totally coordinated with the piece de resistance, this embroidered wool pillow, $3.75, original price $150.00 at same fancy department store:

What, you don't believe me? I didn't think you would:

The only question is, how do you feel about all three of them together?:

Thanks Gabes, www.gabrielbrothers.com. You are loved and always missed.

Christmas Cabbage Rolls, The Making of.

I know it's the new year and most people would like to read diet or closet organization tips and not see pictures of last year's food. But I also like to stick with what I know, and one look at a my closet or my ass will have you thankful for what I CAN offer: a holiday food tutorial.

My Grandma is Hungarian. Every Christmas, the ladies of the family meet up at my aunt's house on the 23rd to prepare traditional cabbage rolls (or 'pigs' for short, don't ask me why) for the whole gang to enjoy on Christmas Eve. You will need:

Lots of raw meat.
Chopped onions.
Bread crumbs.
Eggs.
Cooked white rice.
Salt.
Pepper.
Chopped garlic.

Mix that all up in a big bowl.

Then, you will need many heads of cabbage, briefly boiled, with most roll-able leaves taken off.


Then, you gotta stuff and roll:


Somewhere, throw in a fruity martini. Remember, this is a laborious process. Adjust alcohol consumption according to craziness of family:

Then, you gotta poke the ends. This picture is upsetting in so many ways, I know:

Pack them tightly (but neatly!! as my teacher-mom exclaims) into a large roaster:

Then, and this is where I cannot hide that we're doing all of this in West Virginia, tie the top and bottom of the roaster together with heavy-duty plastic wire-ties:

You do this so that the raccoons don't get to them when the roaster spends the night on the ice-cold back deck (ain't no room in the fridge, yo):

Don't forget to clean up:

In the morn, pour several cans of crushed tomatoes and - that holiday classic - cream of mushroom soup, over the pigs. Roast for several hours. Come nightfall, enjoy:

Or, if you're like me and don't eat meat, be happy that you've brought gastrointestinal enjoyment to your family and thankful there's more room for wine and cookies in your own stomach.