Monday, January 7, 2008

This pisses the shit outta me.

What *is* that, you ask? Why, it's a brown tuxedo. Yes, a BROWN TUXEDO. And its mere existence pisses me off. Having just planned a wedding, I was witness to many ridiculous bridal inventions (like the white napkins versus ivory dress debate, the bedazzled unity candle, those awful Lenox bride and groom figurines that people use as cake toppers, garter belts with football team logos, etc), but NONE more annoying or *wrong* as the brown friggin' tuxedo.

I don't care that your colors are brown and powder blue, or brown and baby pink, or brown and mint green (all of which are terrible combos and ALSO piss the shit outta me). I don't care that the bridesmaids are wearing brown empire-waisted Ann Taylor Celebrations gowns, or that your linens are metallic brown organza, or that your flowers are chocolate cosmos, or that your signature drink is a choco-kahlua-ice cream-tini-rita.

Tuxedos are *black*. Or white, but only if you're getting married in an outdoor, daytime ceremony in Capri or something. Or, if you're in Palm Springs channeling Frank Sinatra.


Hannah said...

The three-piece-browness makes me think you could top this guy off with a fedora and he would rob a stagecoach in the early days of western frontier. Probably not the best visual for a formal event.

Kids Got Hitched said...

Ha!! You've made me realize that there IS one type of wedding where this brown tuxedo might be appropriate: a wild-west themed affair set held in one of those ghost towns that dot the highway from LA to Vegas.

But that's a whole nother rant, I guess!

Linda said...

Amen. I totally agree!

Anonymous said...

I randomly came across your blog and couldn't agree more... I was the best man in a wedding recently, and I had to wear a nearly identical tux... I was embarrassed to be seen in it.

It was part tux, part suit, all gross.

Long live black tie!

Anonymous said...

I love the brown tuxedo, nice to see an alternative to the boring black tuxedo.